I am married to myself, Sologamy

What is sologamy? Sologamy is the person who got married to one-self. It doesn’t mean you can’t get married to the one you love or being with someone you love.

For me being a sologamy is just the respect and love to oneself. Everyone would say, well, we all love ourselves. If that is true, I am so happy for you.

By my experiences most of us live in an illusion of love. Most of people looks for love, the one who complet them, the one who makes them whole again (it sounds like they were already broken somewhere and somehow), another part of themselves etc … The image of half of a sphere which needs another half to be a real whole sphere.

It is not a critic, I was one of them. I lived in an illusion of a perfect love which someone could bring it to me and vice versa. I had filled myself with love which I was ready to share to the ONE. But each time I ended up with a great suffering because none could understand. I was ended up being grounded; became invisible. I questioned myself what was happening? What did I do wrong? I’d created some good answers for me such as maybe I was not good enough, maybe I didn’t give enough, maybe I didn’t show them love enough, maybe I was not pretty enough or maybe I was not intelligent enough. I had tried so hard to be one who was enough; well, no result, I was still invisible. It was not the problem, I was actually enough and I am still enough. So what was wrong? What should I do to meet the one I am waiting for ; Who understands me and who excepts me as I am with all my defaults.

One day sitting in my office left up my lelf hand then looked at my ring finger which I wore a beautiful ring for 5 days, I was a wonderful feeling and peaceful. By sudden, my brain started to show me a briefing of my childhood education which related to love that I have to give to the man who will be part of my life. There are so much things. I must love him all of my heart, loyalty, respect, take care of him, by his side no matter what, forgive him no matter what, love his family no matter what, give whatever he ever wanted. I saw the light of love came out of my palm to outside world at the same time I saw my pain and deception I had lived. By sudden, I thought what if I turn this light to me instead. By my small gesture turning my palm to me, I felt the hit of love. My tear of joy filled up my eyes, I felt love and I am loved. I felt complet for the first time. I said to myself ” Wooooooaaauuhhh, The one I’ve been waiting for is me, myself “. It took me 38 years to be in this stade of awareness. All the questions started to disappear, there is no question to ask. Everything is just perfect as it is. I am so grateful to my life experiences ; to whom gave me lessons. Those were so precious. Without them, I might be still far away of being whole with myself.

Then I had an idea of getting married to myself, I thought I was the only one to do it. It sounds crazy but who cares ? I looked up to the internet, I was supprised because there are millions of us out there. I am so proud to be one of them to join this journey. This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced. My marriage was at 26 May 2018, soon will be one year. I am so excited to celebrate.

The experience of being Sologamy, I live my life as before, knowing that I am with me. I feel stable. I am more independance emotionally. Sometimes, I still feel the neediness but this is how my woman body works. I just accept all these things much more easily. I understand that love starts from oneself, not from him or them. I hope this experience could bright a path of the one who needed, knowing that you are not alone.

I am loved, you are loved, we are loved.

Have a wonderful day.

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